Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Well...What Did You Expect??

...and...did it turn out otherwise?
Did you expect the promotion? Expect your appointment to start on time? Did some person, event, or situation not turn out the way you expected it to? Did YOU do something that didn't meet your own expectation?  The topic of "expectations" is so rich, so loaded and SO deeply embedded in our lives, that when we really take a look at it, it's quite easy to get sucked down the proverbial rabbit hole!
That being said, lets simplify.
We have expectations in just about every area of our lives. We expect our alarm clocks to wake us up. We expect the water to come on when we start the shower. We expect our drive in to work to include a specific route, and take a specific amount of time. We expect the key to work, that gets us into our office space. We have a constant stream of expectations going on all throughout the day. We rely on these expectations to be met, and have a tendency to 'lose it', or feel derailed, if or when it doesn't happen. Don't agree? Try having just ONE of those above listed expectations not met.
This phenomenon includes everything from expecting to see when we first open our eyes in the morning, to having the car to start when you turn the key in the ignition, to expecting the promotion, relationship or vacation to go 'as planned'.
Look into your life, and spend a moment in the times when you were thrown into a tailspin. Chances are, that tailspin was a result of some expectation not met. Some thing or some one did not respond or turn out as you had expected. The marriage. The job. The purchase of a car. The move to a different city. The list of possibilities is utterly endless.
Enter the phrase, "Keep your expectations low, and you won't be disappointed", or how about the idea that 'low expectations = less disappointment'?  I've even heard, "expect nothing...you'll be happy with whatever you get". Really? Is THAT the solution?  Things don't turn out how we expected them to, so we lower our expectations, even down to nothing?? Phooey!!
I say keep your expectations SKY HIGH!! Expect magic. Expect miracles. Expect results FAR beyond that which you even think is possible!!  Here's the secret, tho. Along with expecting the person, situation or experience to turn out TOTALLY in your favor and beyond your wildest dreams, is learning the skills to deal with it, just in case the result is something other than what you envisioned. Learn how to handle a result that looks different than what you saw coming.
This is the key that's missing in the world today. We 1) expect to get the shaft, so we're down and droopy all the time - or perhaps paranoid that the Universe is conspiring against us, or 2) we keep expectations high, but have absolutely no coping skills to get us over the hump when things don't 'go our way'. We as a society throw tantrums left and right. Road rage. Assault. Situational depression. 'Going postal'. Social media 'mud slinging'. Bullying. Feeling defeated. We, as a whole, have lost the ability to deal with things not going 'our way'.
Example: We go into the 20 items or less line at the grocery store. (go ahead, laugh...but you know its a 'thing'!!)  Ever count the items in someone elses cart, and consider saying something to them if they have 28 items...or maybe even if they have 21 items? We expect people to have 20 items or less, I mean they DID choose that line, right? So, they're aware of the stated parameters! But we may get a little ruffled if someone is in the 'wrong' place.
Or, how about studying night and day for the upcoming exam, and finding out that you got a C, instead of the A you worked SO HARD to get? Flight delays. Late dinner guests. Gas prices and kids coming in past curfew. Then, we get all upset and sideways because of these 'disappointments'.
ENOUGH, I SAY!!!
Yes, have high expectations. High hopes and dreams make life more colorful and engaging! But, learn how to handle it, when something turns out in a way that appears to be blah!
In any and every situation, there is ALWAYS a good, strong, balanced and healthy way of seeing things. Maybe you didn't get the job because there's something better on the horizon! Maybe the detour on your way to work will bring you by a new coffee shop in town, which you never would have seen, had you just stayed on your 'normal' route.  Maybe the person ahead of you in the express lane is too worried about a family member to even realize that they're in an express lane, and the one thing you can do to help make their day better, is to just let them go about their way. Flight delay? Gives you more time to practice your patience and 'disappointment handling' skills :-)
The world is much brighter, people are more friendly, opportunities are more plentiful, and days are much easier, when you go through your life expecting miracles!
Aim ever so high, and know that if something/someone appears to 'land short' of that expectation, that your grass is just as green, you can be just as happy, and life is JUST AS MAGICAL is it was before that result appeared.
The world is a place of endless possibilities. Keep allowing those possibilities to show up in your life, and keep on paddling. Life is but a dream...
A spectacular day to you,
Always,
Jill

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