Friday, November 29, 2013

Gifts or Burdens??

Is it a gift or is it a burden? How do you know the difference? What do you do with it, once you've determined its appropriate category? Does it really matter how you look at it? What are the qualities that make one thing a "gift" and one thing a "burden"?
So many questions to ponder! I assure you, these questions may come off as a burden to begin with, but they're truly a gift. :-D Lets jump right in, shall we?
According to Merriam-Webster, a gift is
: something that is given to another person or to a group or organization
: a special ability
According to Merriam-Webster, a burden is
:  something that is carried :  load
:  duty, responsibility
:  something oppressive or worrisome
 
According to Jill Thompson, the only difference in these 2 ideas is how you choose to receive whatever it is that you are given.
 Lets use this first, in the context of the upcoming holidays. A gift card. Someone gives you a gift card as a holiday gift. What is your first thought?
1) "WOW, COOL! Now I get to go to the _____ store and buy myself the _____ that I wanted!"
OR
2) "okay, now I have to add a trip to _____ to my ever growing list of things to do, so I can try to pick something out that I can use."
Gift or burden?
In this example, as with everything else, its all in how you look at it.
Someone at work shares their heart with you. Gift or burden?
A neighbor gives you a holiday present. Gift or burden?
Your kid needs a ride to his/her friend's house. Gift or burden?
A friend of yours says, "I need someone to talk to, do you have a minute?". Gift or burden?
These are common examples, just to set the stage, because I'm about to "go big" with this idea, so brace yourself. I want to make sure that you get the entire concept of 'gift or burden', because it covers just about everything that we encounter during any (and every) given day, and I think a clear understanding of the GIFT of choice can truly help make a difference in your day...every day.
Now, lets go BIG!
Your skills. Your dreams. Your interests. Your special qualities.
Does it stress you out, trying to pursue your passion, or does it come easy for you?
Does it bring about worry to pursue your interests, or do you find joy in that process?
Are you 'fighting' to live your 'purpose'?
I'm a sign language interpreter. That is a passion of mine. I learned the alphabet from a lady named Holly Hugdahl when I was in 2nd Grade. I spelled EVERYTHING until I met Stacy, my first deaf friend in college. I spelled everything to her, and in a very short amount of time, she said, "This conversation could take forever, so let's teach you signs, okay?" OKAY!!!!
I learned from her (gift), then was able to test out of ASL 1, and ASL 2 when I transferred to California State University, Northridge (gift). I took several more classes at CSUN, and graduated with an Associates Degree in Deaf Studies. Since then, I've been blessed to have several jobs as an interpreter, as well as many "in the right place at the right time" occurrences where sign language was needed. For me, sign language is a huge Gift. It took some work on my behalf to get skilled enough to be fluent, but never once has it created stress, worry, panic, or up-set in my life. Its never been a struggle, and I've never felt 'guh, why do I have this burden to carry?' One of the (many) greatest memories in my whole life, was standing at the stage, at the Red Rocks Amphitheater, interpreting for recording artist, Jewel, and having her watch me 'present' her songs in a way that went far beyond the auditory senses.
My reason for using this example is because I do know several people who see 'knowing sign language' as a burden. They 'had' to learn it because they have a deaf parent or sibling. I know a couple of parents of deaf children who refused to learn sign language, because they wanted their kid(s) to learn how to function in the 'hearing world'. One mother actually told me "it would have been too hard to learn a whole other language as an adult." For me (and MANY others!) learning sign language opened so many doors in my life, that may not have been opened otherwise. Some of my dearest friends are deaf...and if I hadn't learned to sign, that may not be the case. But there are plenty of other people who see sign language as a burden, or something that they 'have' to do, because of other circumstances in their lives.
The minute you receive something, a present, a phone call or text, an idea, a dream, an insight, epiphany, or realization of your inner-self, you get the opportunity to see and accept it as a gift or as a burden. That choice is completely YOURS. How you choose to receive it will determine your path for handling it.
Going back to the Merriam-Webster definitions, I offer this.
A "gift" is
: something that is given to another person or to a group or organization
: a special ability
:  something that is carried :  load
:  duty, responsibility
that makes you happy, and brings joy to your life, and consequently to the lives of others
 
A "burden" is
: something that is given to another person or to a group or organization
: a special ability
:  something that is carried :  load
:  duty, responsibility
that causes you stress and disharmony, should NOT be passed on to anyone else, and should be discarded and/or eliminated as SOON AS POSSILBE!
Take a burden and drop it like a hot potato, or change something about IT or YOUR THINKING, and make it a gift.
Whether we're talking about a personality trait or characteristic, a job, a task (or a whole list of them!), a person, a dream, an idea or an opportunity, the choice is YOURS to receive it as a gift or a burden.
Choose wisely because therein lies your journey.

Have you got something that you see as a burden, and cannot see how you could possibly turn it into a gift? Comment below, or shoot me an e-mail, I will be more than happy to help you reframe it, and make it work in your favor!

Wishing you an amazing selecting process, and days filled with joy, love, happiness and GIFTS!
Jill

DrSeanAndJill@TheNaturalBodyWorks.com
 
 


 
 
 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Which Voice Are YOU Listening To?

Listen to your heart? Listen to your head? Listen to your gut? Listen to those other voices that exist in that 'somewhere else' - out there? Listen to the voices from your childhood? Previous relationships? Ex-employers? Bullies from long ago? (or bullies from NOT SO long ago?)
Our days are filled with a constant barrage of voices. Some positive, some less so. Some, downright hurtful! The sad truth is, that most of the negativity that flies around in our minds is self-induced!
Although we may have actually heard those voices, speaking hurtful words, they probably do not exist in this very moment. But, we can hear them as though they're the loudest thing in the room. We carry voices with us all day. Some ours, some not. But regardless of whom they belong to, we have conversations going on in our heads ALL DAY and most of the night! Go ahead, try to have NO conversation in your head. Try it. I'll wait.

Over the past several months, my life has taken some pretty measurable turns. My attitude has changed, my happiness has dramatically increased, I've lost weight, I sleep better, my business has gotten much busier, and more successful, my friendships are stronger, and I have more of them. My outlook on life has widened, and I almost feel taller!
So I asked myself, what changed? What happened that created all of these wonderful and positive changes. My answer came quickly and clearly. I changed the voices that I was listening to. That's it. That one change in my thought process, resulted in every aspect of my life getting noticeably better.  Clearer. Stronger. Brighter. Healthier.

You know the image. The devil on one shoulder, and an angel on the other. Each one whispering their sound advice into their respective ear. It would be much easier if there were only 2 sources from which we get these voices! Trouble comes when there are SEVERAL voices, and we hear them ALL, and try to sort through them to determine which ONE we're going to listen to! "Yes", "No", "Maybe", "What if...", "How will I.."and the list goes on.  If only it were as easy as eenie meenie miney mo!
Do any of these sound familiar?
The Fear Voice. What if this doesn't work? What if I'm wrong? How many times do we have to 'start again' before you realize you're not going to accomplish this? You can't stick to anything. That kind of happiness, just isn't for you. You're better off not even trying, because you're not going to make it, anyway. You're not smart enough. You're not talented enough. You're just going to look stupid, so don't even bother.
The Doomed Voice. This is as good as its ever going to get. There just aren't that many jobs available, so be grateful for the one you have. Good enough is good enough. You're too old to get started on that now - learn to be happy with what you have. Its too late.
The "Yes You Can" Voice. You've got this! You're better off now, anyway! This is all you!

You recognize these? Well, I'm here to tell you that NONE of these statements is true.. Not one single one of them. We go into much more detail in the book, (The Perfect Cup of Coffee), but in short, here's the TRUTH. Not one of these statements is more true than any other.
"Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right" - Henry Ford
So you get to pick. You get to decide which voices you're going to listen to, and if you're in a place in your life where you're 'stuck' - you're listening to the wrong ones! Make another choice.
We tend to allow these voices (good or bad) to ring in our heads like the drips of water torcher, so you want to make sure you choose wisely! The "plink...plink...plink" of Walt Disney's quote, "If you can dream it, you can achieve it" is a WAY better way to spend your life than the plinks of "What if I'm wrong", agreed?
So, take inventory. Which voices are you listening to? Often the ones in our heads have the most 'outside influence', and tend to be 'thoughts of old'. Habitual thinking. The 'mind thoughts' tend to be the most stale. That's why you tend to get a physiological reaction when a 'new thought' comes in and resonates with you. Even your BRAIN gets excited to receive new ideas! (Again, more about that in the upcoming book, The Perfect Cup of Coffee). Our heart-voice tends to be pretty reliable, although it communicates regularly with the head, so there's some 'outside influence' in there, as well. Gut - that's a pretty safe bet. The gut keeps its distance from both the head and the heart, so it tends to protect itself from the outside influence. It also tends to answer most quickly, and over-analyze the least! "Gut-instinct", if you will.
Take your inventory, and be sure to evict the voices that tend to harm you the most. You don't need them. They certainly don't move you forward in your life.
I invite you to comment below - what voices are holding you back? What are you hearing, then repeating to yourself, that may be keeping you stuck? What voices do you hear that propel you forward? What can YOU do to only hear the ones that inspire you?
I look forward to your comments!
A beautiful, selectively thoughtful day to you!
Jill

https://www.facebook.com/ThePerfectCupofCoffeeBook?ref=hl
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www.TheNaturalBodyWorks.com


Thursday, November 7, 2013

NO, Your Past Experiences Do NOT Make You Who You Are!

You know the phrase, "Our past experiences make us who we are today", right? Well, please forgive my frustration, but, that's an airy-fairy, overused 'feel good' line for trying to make someone let go of past bad decisions or perceived injustices. So many people use incidences of their pasts, and let them be an excuse for their present and future beliefs, actions and behaviors. I'm here to set the record STRAIGHT!
Contrary to 'popular cliché', our past experiences DO NOT make us who we are today. What makes us who we are today, is who we DECIDE TO BE! It is completely irrelevant, whatever has happened to you up to this very moment in your life! COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT! I don't care where you live, what you've 'done', what's been 'done to you', what you've experienced, how you experienced it, who loved you, who left you, what job you quit, what employer fired you, how many kids you have, or the fact that you can't have any. Doesn't matter how much money you have, nor how little. Doesn't matter where you grew up, and in what type of environment. Irrelevant is the fact that you were abused as a child, or were raised in a life surrounded by fluffy clouds and bunny rabbits. All equally immaterial.
That is one of the gifts of this BEAUTIFUL life! You get to choose, each and every day, who and how you want to be! You can choose to live your whole life, being a victim of your childhood. The victim of an abusive marriage. The victim of an illness, poverty or rejection. Its totally your choice, and you get to pick something different EVERY DAY, if you'd like!
The magic of the mind, is your absolute key to freedom!
So, here's a fun game that you get to play, if you so choose. Play with your past. Rewrite it. Make it EXACTLY the way you want it to be, and live your life as though every bit of it were the truth. Did you grow up in a castle? Did that relationship end because you decided that you wanted more from your life than that situation could ever possibly offer? Do you have the most perfect and ideal job, but you're just doing this one to see how 'the other folks' live? Open your mind to absolute creativity, and see what shows up. You get to own whatever it is that you want to, because your thoughts, your memories and your 'past' belongs to you. Do with it WHATEVER you want!.
Your 'past' is just a bunch of memories, all of them totally inaccurate to what ACTUALLY happened anyway, so mold those old memories like play-doh, and recreate them to make you who you want to be right now. If that 'you' stops being fun, change it up again!
Life is all about what's happening now, anyway, right? So redefine anything that 'happened before' that is slowing you down, or appearing as an obstacle, and get it the heck out of your way! That is NOT who you are.
Who you ARE is whomever you want to be. REALLY!!!
With that, I wish you all a beautiful, colorful, fragrant, LIFE FILLED DAY!!!

Until next time,
Jill

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